


Confessional

by orphan_account



Category: Dragon Age II
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-27
Updated: 2012-06-27
Packaged: 2017-11-08 17:07:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/445510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sebastian rethinks his vows.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Confessional

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TheLaughingStar](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLaughingStar/gifts).



> Sebastian's family is alive in this. Based on an AU RP.

"So you've been rethinking your vows?"

The abrupt question made Sebastian do a double-take. His cheeks, which had been growing increasingly warm over the time he mulled on how to approach the Grand Cleric, became bright red.

"Wha- ? Elthina!"

"How did I know…? Yes, well. I can hardly think of any other reason why you'd come talk to me so flustered."

Sebastian bowed his head in shame as she folder her hands on top of her skirt.

He was already in a difficult position; Elthina felt like a mother to him - in ways his real, royal mother could never hope to achieve - and it was… disconcerting. For the first time, Sebastian wished to be in one of his brothers' place. If he'd getting speech lessons, maybe he'd know how to approach the subject.

He'd hoped to break the news to her gently, but Elthina had other ideas in mind. It was a strong woman he was talking to, head of the chantry in Kirkwall. She was old and infinitely wise.

Sometimes, he forgot that.

Elthina sat at one of the benches down the Chantry hall, inviting Sebastian to come join her with a light tap on the wood. He knelt on the floor instead, feeling much more comfortable of the thought that it was a confession, of sorts, and his eyes bore into the statue of Andraste in the middle of the hall. Facing Her was far easier than looking directly at Elthina, who could read him as easy as the Maker and His Bride but who - he heretically thought - was alive and human and there, and far more menacing than the thought of divine punishment.

Andraste looked at him accusingly from the altar. With the defiance only a prince could muster, Sebastian stared back - but muttered a prayer of forgiveness, for penitence, before he could concentrate on how he'd talk to Elthina.

In the end, she helped him out, the way he always knew she would.

"You knew when you took it that the chastity vow is a proving. It means dedication towards Andraste and Her only. Self doubt is common, and so is temptation."

"It isn't just temptation," he talked back, bearing offense. "Don't you think I would be able to resist, if it were just… lust? Haven't I proven myself to be dedicated to the Chantry?"

"Calm down, Sebastian," she chided him gently. "I don't doubt you. I've only been meaning to ask if you're in love."

"Nonsense!"

Elthina was startled by the force of his answer. The look in her eyes made Sebastian felt very self conscious and guilty, even when she approached him further and said:

"It's wrong to lie to others in the eye of the Maker, but it's even wronger to lie to yourself."

"I… apologise. It's… I don't know what it is, to be honest. I've been going through this over my head for a million times. I just- Well, it's as you said. A vow is taken for us to show compromise. But I've been spending so much time thinking of this person I've started neglecting my duties-"

Elthina chuckled - "I've noticed you've been showing up late for mass."

"And," he forced himself to continue, ignoring the cleric's smile "it looks like it takes more energy form my service to just think instead of acting upon my impulses. You do not understand. Every night is the same, and it drives me mad."

"Oh, I think I understand it quite well."

Sebastian blushed in response. Maker. He didn't have to be having this conversation. At all. On the other hand, it worked better than a bucket of cold water on him: if he started having dreams again, all he needed to do was think of Elthina in her prime and-

No. Just no.

Maker, that was too wrong.

"But it's not simply that, is it?" She continued. "I don't question your faith or your service, Sebastian, but you also have your family as well to think about. Another sort of duty."

For a second, Sebastian was lost as what she was saying. Only when she stared back in the same confusion is that he understood.

"No, that wouldn't be a problem," he stated firmly, his mouth becoming a thin line.

"I don't- Oh. It's a man."

Sebastian couldn't bear to think of the amusement in her tone. She touched his shoulder, bringing his sight back to her and her smile, and Sebastian felt faint.

Well, sure, it was a man. And it did take care neatly of any risk of having a bastard kid that could, perhaps, compete with his brothers' children claim to the throne. Elthina didn't have to look so happy. Of course, she knew indeed many things that he didn't, for she was the Grand Cleric, after all, but Sebastian missed the punchline and the joke was on him.

"Your vow is self imposed and you're not a full fledged Chantry Brother yet. There's always time to go back on this path."

"I'm not breaking my word."

"You won't be. Even the Maker had Andraste, how could He keep anyone from love?"

"The Maker's love is the true grace," he parroted. "And I'm not in love."

"His designs are different for each one of us. Maybe yours is this, so don't keep yourself from opening your heart up."

Sebastian crossed his arms. Heavens, Elthina thought, isn't that boy stubborn?

"We're done here."

"What? But-"

"We're done. Think of what I said. I can't whisk away your vows. That's a chat you're going to have with yourself and the prophetess. Do not worry-" she added. "She is kind and all knowing."

Sebastian knew that. It brought him comfort, sometimes. Perhaps now that would be such a moment.

"Elthina…"

"What is it, my child?"

"… Thanks."


End file.
